


Dancing On My Own

by Camerahead12



Series: Angstober2020 [10]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Castiel/Dean Winchester Mutual Pining, Destiel Promptober 2020 (Supernatural), F/M, M/M, Mutual Pining, The Author Regrets Nothing, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:34:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26940715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Camerahead12/pseuds/Camerahead12
Summary: Day Ten; Slow Dancing
Relationships: Castiel/Daphne, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Angstober2020 [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1950358
Comments: 30
Kudos: 30
Collections: Destiel Promptober 2020, The Destiel Fan Survey Favs Collection





	Dancing On My Own

**Author's Note:**

> The song for the prompt is Dancing On My Own by Calum Scott

Dean approaches the white outdoor tent alight with the soft glow of faerie lights and flickering candle light. There are white and soft pale pink flowers everywhere. The wind picks up, blowing a warm breeze with their perfume towards him and for a moment he pauses his steps, inhaling their scent, trying to get his heart to stop racing.

From here Dean can hear the quiet collection of voices talking and happy laughter coming from inside the tent. He takes a moment to let a smile dance on the edges of his lips before moving forward again, moving the delicate sheen white fabric to the side as he slips inside.

Too engrossed with their own conversations no one pauses their words or even seems to notice he’s there. His eyes search around the large gathering of people mingling dressed in fancy flowing dresses and black tuxedos. Dean walks a few steps forward, pulling his dark suit jacket down in hopes the wrinkles aren’t too noticeable. He thinks to himself maybe he should have worn a tie over his plain white button up dress shirt, when the couple in front of him walks away.

Dean’s eyes snap up when he hears the deep rumbling of a laugh he would know anywhere. There, maybe ten feet in front of him, stands Castiel. He’s dressed in a sharp three piece black suit, his usual unruly hair is combed and parted to the side in such a way Dean wonders how many types of different chemicals it took to have it lay down. As handsome as he looks, what takes Dean’s breath away is how his eyes are crinkled at the sides, head tipped back in a laugh as some couple speaks to him.

The voice of the DJ has people taking their seats all around him. Dean comes back to his senses enough to step away to the back of the tent where he entered. The DJ’s words fade away as Dean watches Cas hold out a hand and a beautiful dark haired woman dressed in a elegant white wedding dress puts her hand in his.

_“That’s bullshit!” Dean screamed, pushing himself up from the table. “I knew your family was a bunch of dicks, but they can’t fucking tell you who you can and can’t be with.”_

_Castiel sighs and stands up from the table calmly. “I’ve told you before that I don’t care about the money, Dean. It doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is –”_

_Dean laughs. An angry, broken laugh trying to fight back tears pricking at his eyes. “You want to waste your life away with some piece of shit mechanic while we live paycheck to paycheck? Because I’m telling you now, I’m not something to be proud of. I ain’t gunna change, I like what I do.”_

_Cas steps forward, his hands gripping Dean’s wrist firmly, those deep blue eyes almost pleading. He almost flinches away, but the pressure stops him. “I wouldn’t ask you to change. Not for anything. I love the life we’ve built together and I love you. I’m not asking for anything more. I don’t **want** anything else. All I want is you.”_

_He knows the words are suppose to be comforting, but they sting at the same time. Deep down Dean knows that this was coming. It’s been coming since they graduated college together and moved in. It’s been coming since the first time Castiel took him to his parents house for dinner to introduce him. It’s been coming since Castiel chose spending the holidays with Dean at his brothers than going back home. The silent, quiet build up of Castiel’s fucking family’s traditions and generations of upper class connections has been boiling underneath the surface, just waiting for his mother to make her power move._

_“They’re going to cut you off,” he whispers, dropping his eyes to Castiel’s hands still holding onto his wrists. “It’s not just the money, but it’s your family. Even Gabe he –”_

_“He doesn’t matter! None of it matters!” Castiel’s voice breaks as shakes his wrists. “I’m happy with you. You make me happy.”_

_Dean shakes his head, biting his lips as tears blink from his eyes. No, he can’t let Cas make this choice. Every comfort he’s ever known is going to be taken away. Because that’s how they’ve been living. Yeah, Cas doesn’t really use his parents money, but the fricken house they’re staying in was a graduation present from his mother. They’ll have to start from scratch, definitely not in their current neighborhood. And then they’d have to worry about bills and insurance. They have their fights, sure, but what if Cas realizes the truth? That he wasn’t worth it. But now he’s stuck, nowhere to go because he picked him over his family. He’ll regret it. Dean knows no matter how big of assholes they are, they’re still family, and Castiel is going to regret staying with him after awhile. Out in the real world he’s just some worthless, low class worker that can barely to keep their heads above water._

_“You’re happy now, but you wont be once…” Dean just shakes his head, letting out a shaky sigh._

_It takes a moment, but he finally hears Cas gasp and the grip on his wrists falters as he whispers, “What are you saying?”_

_“I’m saying I’m not worth it.” Dean looks up, feeling tears dripping down his cheeks as he stares in Castiel’s. “Love isn’t going to save us, Cas. It’s the real world out there, and you’ve never had to live in it. It’s not a great place. It sucks.” Dean pulls a hand free and places a finger on Castiel’s lip to silence his words. “I’m not telling you it would happen all at once, but it’s not like we’d be living a faerie tale. It might not be now, hell, it might be five years down the road, but you’ll regret it. You’ll blame me. You’ll resent me. And I just –” His voice breaks and looks up at the ceiling away from Castiel’s piercing stare, hating the tears blurring his vision. “I just want you to remember us happy. Just like this. Just as we are. I don’t want to see us get to the point where I’m some bitter old drunk full on daddy issues, and you hate and resent me for dragging you into a life you weren’t ready for.”_

_Dean looks back down, letting his finger fall from those full lips he could never get tired of kissing. He gives him a smile and feels his heart start breaking inside him. “I love you, Castiel. There will never not be a day that I don’t love you. You’re it for me. But I think,” he cups his cheek, rubbing his thumb over Castiel’s day old scruff. “I think that no matter how much I love you, it wont save us.”_

Dean blinks back to reality as applause all around him starts. He clears his throat, wiping away a stray tear that somehow found its’ way on his cheek. The DJ calls for everyone to join the couple on the dance floor and people start getting up from their seats and approaching the stage as a steady rhythm starts.

Dean feels like his feet are suddenly made of lead. Through the crowd of people up and moving about, he loses sight of Castiel. Straining his neck, he tries to see his head over the people but can’t spot him. Sighing, Dean shakes his head and rubs the back of his neck. This was a stupid idea anyway.

Giving one last look in hopes to see Cas one last time, Dean gives up and pulls back the white fabric separating the party from the outside world. Even though it’s hardly an type real fabric separating the two worlds at all, it’s quieter out here. Dean takes in a deep breath, almost gagging on the perfume of the flowers around him. He shouldn’t be here. He should have stayed gone. He’s probably the last person that –

“Dean?”

Dean’s eyes close as he tilts his head to the voice. A voice he would know anywhere. His heart speeds up hearing his name come from that voice. A voice that he thought he’d never hear again. A voice that haunts his dreams with nothing but happy memories he’s not allowed to have ever again.

Opening his eyes slowly, Dean manages the best smile he can. “Hey Cas.”

They stand there, staring at each other, as if trying to analyze any changes the other has over these past years. In the end, it isn’t Dean who moves first. It’s Cas. Which makes sense, because he has always been him to take the first step, figuratively and non.

“What are you doing here?” He asks in a breathless tone.

Dean clears his throat and gives a shrug hoping to come off nonchalant. “Brother told me you were getting hitched. Sam let me use his invitation to get in.”

The song from inside switches to something softer. Made for people to press closer together, enjoying the ambience of the wedding. Castiel’s eyes never leave his, but Dean doesn’t find himself bothered by the attention. His heart gives a familiar pain in his chest at how much he’s missed his intense stare.

“So, what are you doing out here?” Dean asks, chuckling slightly. “Running away from your own wedding?”

That seems to jostle something inside him Cas and he gives a small smile. “Might be. I never was much of the mingling type. Especially with complete strangers that are only here for the free wine and champagne.”

“Damnit, you caught me,” he says. “Anywhere there’s free booze and I’m there.”

Without even meaning to, they’ve both somehow moved into each other’s orbit without realizing. Dean’s breath hitches as Castiel reaches out a hand, slowly, touching the side of his face with such gentleness Dean’s heart aches.

“Dance with me,” Castiel whispers, slipping his other arm around Dean’s waist.

Dean shaking arms wrap around Castiel’s neck, fingers brushing through the back of his hair. Castiel shivers, pressing their bodies closer together as they begin to sway back and forth. From inside the tent Dean can hear the quiet music of some slow song he can’t place.

“Won’t someone come looking for you?” Dean whispers, letting his lips brush against his smooth neck. He doesn’t even pretend not to take in a deep breath against the skin, trying to enjoy their short moment the universe is allowing.

“I don’t care,” he whispers back, pulling Dean’s body so closely against his it’s like he’s holding onto a lifeline, and impossible for them to even sway to the music.

“Cas,” Dean whispers, pulling his head back just a little. He has a million things he wants to say; a million things he wants to tell him, but it all dies on his tongue when Dean’s check brushes against his.

Castiel tilts his head into his just enough that their lips barely touch. Both of them gasp, and Dean swears he can feel his body coming back alive again. Their eyes search one another for any hint of hesitation. Then slowly, together, their eyes flutter close and they press their lips together.

The kiss is soft and slow, letting their lips rediscover one another. Deans fingers intertwine in Castiel’s hair, deepening the kiss. He swears he hears a growl deep in Castiel’s chest as he opens his mouth to him. Castiel’s hand grips the back of his neck tighter, and Dean whimpers knowing the even if he wanted to move away in this moment, he couldn’t.

The intensity of the moment only lasts a heartbeat more before they hear applause from inside. Their lips linger together, one last soft, gentle kiss is given before they pull back.

Castiel’s face is wet with tears, and Dean can feel the wetness on his own, knowing his must look much of the same. It feels like his very own soul screams at him as he lets his hands fall away from Castiel’s body. Cas himself looks so broken as he drops his own.

“I love you,” Dean says in a broken voice. “I’m glad you got your happy ending.”

“You were and have always been, the only happy ending I’ll ever want,” Castiel whispers.

“Castiel?” A woman’s voice sounds from just inside the tent. “Castiel?”

“Shit,” he swears, running a hand over his face.

“Guess that’s my cue,” Dean says as his heart breaks a little more stepping away from him.

“Wait,” Castiel says reaching out a hand to him. “Wait, I –”

“Castiel! There you are!” Naomi says, pushing open the simple fabric. Dean turns the corner of the tent, leaning against the pole staying out of sight. “Daphne and I have been looking for you, Oh, are you crying? Castiel, please. That is the woman’s job, not the mans. Now come on. I want to introduce you the…”

The voices fade away, back into the tent, back into a world Dean knows he would never belong in. Back into a world that he knows Cas will be taken care of and worry free for the rest of his life.

Dean starts his long walk back to the parking lot, and as much as it feels like every part of him is screaming to turn around, he doesn’t look back. Dean knows that if he does, he wont be able to leave without taking Castiel with him.

By the time he gets to his car and slips into the drivers seat, he’s unable to quiet the sobs. His body shakes with them and the ringing silence from inside his car is his only comfort.

**Author's Note:**

> Come scream at me in the comments! ~_^


End file.
